This is depressing, that I have to return to blogging. But this time with new concept and new name of blog after the last few blog not went well. Well, the reason I return to blogging are too many reason. First, I cant sleep, second I miss see my hand dancing in keyboard to writing something came from my heart
..and lastly, I miss someone. Very much. I dont know how to describe it.
I know this blog just for my self. But what the hell. It is just for my place to whisper cause there's no one can know or no one should or would want to hear this kind of feeling.
why shouldnt I get a diary? here's my answer. diary is my handwriting and anytime anyone can read. but for blog like this. I can hide my identity. No one who I am. So if you one of my acquaintance or friends and family, just read it. unless you hack my blog then you can know who I am. But if you hack mine, I dont mind. I just make new blog then.
Intro from myself incase there's someone reading.
Currently in a relationship with someone, he/she nice, funny and I'm very comfortable with him/her. Maybe one day we will get married. Maybe. I do love him/her but..
But this is not bout him/her though. This is the whisper that I miss someone beside my partner. Maybe someone from you can decide what is wrong with me. Because I miss someone that I cant have relationship and someone that I hurt him/her very much because of my foolish action.
I know that no one would like to read this kind of long post. but who cares. maybe one day when I'm old and I know what is wrong bout me then I can read this in laughter. But right now I cant laugh. My feeling keep bother my sleeping. I dont know how to handle. I just become stalker in his/her facebook. There's the only place that I can know something from his/her even if he/she share cat video. Atleast I know that he/she still using the facebook.
Gosh. I really dont know what happen to me! What happen to me. Why this feeling keep growing and growing. I wish that I can do something or I can end my life right here or right now, but I cant do that cause it is not my thing. I am not supporting suicide. I always keep harder to prevent that to happen. I have my family that I can happy. I have my partner. This is just a temporarily feeling. I hope.
Maybe this will not be all about that.